Vol. 81, No. 1Last page

A young boy wearing a firefighter's jacket and helmet runs and smiles. A woman stands behind him smiling.

Coping with loss

Camp helps families deal with officer deaths

Camp F.A.C.E.S. provides the families of first responders who died in the line of duty, suddenly or by suicide, the chance to be with others who have gone through a similar experience. Credit: RCMP

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Dozens of people gather at a family camp each summer to deal with the loss of loved ones — Canadian first responders who died in the line of duty, suddenly or by their own hand.

"It's a club none of us want to be part of," says Nadine Larche, whose husband, Cst. Douglas Larche, was one of three RCMP officers killed in a string of shootings in Moncton, N.B., on June 4, 2014.

The family members of police officers, firefighters, paramedics or other first responders, know they are high-risk jobs. But each year, some who work in those fields die unexpectedly — leaving spouses and children to cope.

It's one of the reasons why Larche attends Camp F.A.C.E.S. — Family and Children of Emergency Services — which provides families who have endured such a loss, the chance to be with others who have gone through a similar experience.

"When I first arrived, someone took me under their wing," says Larche, who's grateful for the opportunity to attend the camp. "They said: 'You're going to be OK'. But in the moment, you're thinking you won't be OK, you don't know how you will be. But then you come to realize, in time, you will be and you learn to push through."

Supporting families

Organized and supported by the Canadian Critical Incident Stress Foundation, the camp has provided services to children and spouses since 2015. There are games and fun activities for children and teens, and the foundation provides trained mental-health counsellors.

The support also continues informally beyond the five-day camp.

There are texts, emails and phone calls all year long among the spouses — who can attend throughout their lifetime — and children.

There are even some impromptu get togethers.

"It's just important to stay connected so that when one of us is having a bad day, we know we can reach out to someone who knows what we're going through," says Larche.

Her three daughters, who are 14, 13 and eight, have also attended the camp for the past four years.

"They've made friends with other kids who've experienced a similar tragedy and they really enjoy connecting with them," says Larche.

The girls will be eligible to attend the camp, where costs associated with accommodations, food, activities and transportation are covered by the foundation, until they turn 18.

Larche says the emotional needs of her daughters, when it comes to dealing with their father's death, are evolving over time.

"As they get older they understand more what happened and they have to deal with that," says Larche. "But at the camp they get the chance to feel normal with other kids their age, and if they want to talk about things, they can."

Passing it forward

RCMP Cst. Peter Neily, a member of the voluntary advisory board for Camp F.A.C.E.S., has helped organize activities for the younger children and teens for the past three years.

He says the camp offers a lot of support to families and he's been impressed to see returning spouses and teens do the same for first-timers.

"Sometimes you'll see somebody come in for the first time and it's like they're not ready to be there," says Neily. "But then they'll stay and come back the next year, and then by year three they're suddenly offering support to others. It's an amazing transition to see."

Larche says it's a job she's already doing.

"There's sadly always new people joining the club. But I now feel the need to reach out and tell them about the camp and how much it helped me and my girls," says Larche, who admits in the wake of her husband's death she has felt isolated and would still like the RCMP to do more to support the families who've suffered such a devastating loss.

Neily says Camp F.A.C.E.S., which also offers an event for families living with an emergency service worker who has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, reflects organizers' desire to tell these families they're not being forgotten.

"The families are heavily involved in the job (of being an RCMP officer or first responder)," says Neily, who added efforts are made to reach out to the families during holiday periods such as Christmas. "They're part of the extended police community and, through a camp like this, we want to maintain that social network for them."

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